Made To Love You Read online

  Copyright © 2015 by Megan Smith Production LLC.

  All Rights Reserved.

  This book may not be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect is appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  The following story contains mature themes, strong language and sexual situations. It is intended for adult readers.

  Printed Version:

  Cover Design: Sommer Stein, Perfect Pear Creative

  Photography: Colleen Massott

  Models: Madison Rae and Candon Rusin

  Editor and Formatter: Elaine York, Allusion Graphics, LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting

  Proofreader: Meghan Anderson

  It’s not necessarily the amount of time you spend at practice that counts; it’s what you put into practice.

  ~ Eric Lindros

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Epilogue

  Stay for Me Excerpt

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  About the Author

  Other Books by Megan Smith

  Acknowledgements

  Jaylinn

  It’s sometime in the middle of the night when my phone wakes me. I reach around on the nightstand for it and, of course, it falls off, so with one hand I’m fumbling around on the floor trying to find it.

  “What is that?” Cooper’s gruff sleepy voice asks. “It sounds like a cat dying.”

  Groaning, I reach over and find my phone under the bed, it’s Hunter on the other end of the line. My heart rate spikes. We haven’t exactly been getting along since the beginning of the year and we only talk when it’s absolutely necessary. We aren’t nasty with each other but both of us are hard headed and don’t want to see the other person’s side of the story.

  I slide my finger across the screen answering it. “Hello?”

  “Meet me at the hospital.”

  “What? What’s wrong?” My hands begin to shake and my stomach rolls.

  “Just meet me, okay?” He hangs up before I can demand that he tell me why and what’s going on. I sit with my back against the bed, my heart racing. I try to call him back. No answer.

  “Fuck!”

  “Jay,” Cooper says from behind me. “Who was that?”

  Taking a deep breath I answer, “Hunter. Can you take me to the hospital?”

  I hear the rustle of the sheets and then the light flicks on. Cooper pulls a pair of pants out of his drawer and slides them on. He puts his socks and shoes on next and then reaches back in his drawer for two t-shirts. He pulls one over his head and tosses the other on the bed. He holds his hand out for me to take it and I let him pull me to my feet. I follow the motions of getting dressed while thinking the worst. Is something wrong with MacKenzie? The kids? My mom? Why would he just hang up on me?

  “Jay, stopping doing that,” Cooper reprimands. “I know you’re thinking the worst. Maybe it isn’t something that serious, let’s think positive until we can figure out what the hell is going on.”

  He leaves me in the room and mumbles under his breath as he stomps away, “I’m gonna kill that asshole. What the hell kind of phone call was that?”

  The drive to the hospital is long and painful. Cooper reaches for my hand and runs his thumb over the top of it, trying to comfort me. With him by my side I can handle anything.

  We arrive at the hospital and Cooper calls Hunter again, he finally picks up.

  “We’re here, where are we going?” Cooper snaps. There’s a moment of silence as Hunter is telling him and then he hangs up without a good-bye.

  Cooper slides his eyes over to meet mine. “Come on.”

  We both climb from the truck and meet at the back. It’s freezing and the snow is still falling. We’ve gotten a few inches on the ground since we got home a few hours ago. I wrap my arms around Cooper’s right arm and together we walk into the hospital. A wave of nausea assaults me when we reach the doors. I need to go to the bathroom, splash some water on my face and calm down. The fear is washing over me.

  “I have to use the bathroom, be right back.” I squeeze his hand once more than let go.

  “I’ll go get a visitor’s pass for us.”

  I check all the stalls to make sure they’re empty, which they are thankfully so when I throw up I don’t feel bad for anyone else who could have been in here. After everything is out of my system I take a few calming breaths and wipe the sweat from my forehead.

  “Come on, Jay, get it together. You’re letting fear get the best of you.” I say to myself trying to pump myself up to move.

  I climb to my feet, unlock the stall door, and walk over to the sink. I turn the cold water on and splash some on my face. I cup my hand and rinse out my mouth as best I can and grab a paper towel patting my face dry. Something in the pit of my stomach knows something is really, really, wrong. I take one final look in the mirror, fix a few pieces of hair that have fallen loose, and then head out to find Cooper.

  I find him leaning against the front desk tapping his fingers against it, visitor’s passes in hand.

  Cooper turns when I brush up against his side and puts an arm around my shoulder. “You okay?”

  I try to smile but it doesn’t work. I can’t find my words either so I just nod.

  The receptionist jots down a room number and hands it to us with a smile. “I’ll buzz you through the doors, go straight down the hall to the next set of double doors and then make a right and the elevators are right there.”

  “Thank you.”

  We follow her directions, step into the elevator, press the number six and then Cooper pulls me to him. I wrap my arms around his waist, rest my forehead against his chest and take a deep breath. The smell of sex is still lingering on his skin mixed with his cologne. It’s amazing how these two smells calm me. No matter what curveball life throws at me I know without a doubt that Cooper will be there to catch me.

  “It’s your mom,” Cooper softly whispers.

  All the air rushes from my lungs and it’s difficult to take a breath. I should have stayed with her tonight, I should have been the one who took her home but I wanted to stay with Cooper. I’m so damn selfish, great daughter you are, Jay. “I guess she still wasn’t feeling any better,” I swear. “I knew I should have forced her to go back to the doctor. She probably has pneumonia or something now.”

  “Babe, it’s not your fault,” Cooper consoles me.

  I rest my cheek against his chest listening to his heartbeat. “She still had that nasty cough causing her to keep having terrible headaches. She hasn’t been eating all that well either.” The elevator door dings and the doors open. “I noticed last night at dinner how much weight she’d lost.”

  Cooper and I walk down the hall hand in hand. “I noticed it too but I thought it was just becaus
e I don’t see her all that often with being gone all the time.” We turn left and spot Hunter leaning up against the wall outside of a room. His ankles are crossed, head down, and he’s drumming his fingers against the railing. He must hear our footsteps because he turns his head in our direction.

  The anger he has towards me is long gone and in its place is hurt and worry. A little knot in the pit of my stomach is forming as we stop in front of him. Hunter refuses to look at me, instead, looking at Cooper.

  “Mom’s in there.” He nods with his head towards the door. “But, uh…before you go in we need to talk about what’s going on with her.”

  Cooper pulls me in front of him, protecting me, or maybe even forcing Hunter to talk to me and not to him.

  “What the hell is going on?” I demand.

  Cooper locks his hands around me like a seatbelt protecting me from an impact.

  My brother’s eyes that are normally so bright and so full of life are darker now as he looks at me. The pain that I’m met with causes that knot in my stomach to intensify and suddenly every muscle in by body is strung so tight.

  “Mom’s sick, Jay.” He blinks and turns his head. He doesn’t say anything for another minute then he clears his throat and lays it out for me. “She’s got cancer.”

  Cooper’s arms tighten around me or maybe it’s him catching me as my knees buckle. My eyes close, a sweat breaks out over my body, and I start to shake. I feel Cooper kiss the side of my head. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs.

  I open my eyes, looking at my brother who is wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. “Hunter,” I call his name hoping he’ll look at me.

  His arms drop to his side and his shoulders slump in defeat. I take a step forward gauging his reaction before I wrap my arms around him. It’s sad really that this is what our relationship has become. Thankfully, he doesn’t try to push me away so I hold on a little tighter. I need the security of my big brother more than anything in this moment and he needs mine even if he’s disappointed in me. Hunter wraps his arms around me, tightly, and together we allow ourselves to cry and comfort each other and let all of our other problems take a backseat to be, I’m sure, resurrected another day.

  Our mother, who raised us to be the people we are today, now has cancer. We don’t exactly know the details just yet but cancer is one hell of a thing to battle no matter the kind. Hunter, in this moment, is thinking the worst. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen my brother cry. He walked around with a broken foot for a week and never once complained. He only found out because once mom finally got a look at it she took him to the doctor. When he was eleven he was riding his bike with Mason and Cooper and flipped over the handle bars. He came home with a huge gash under his chin and never made a peep about it, not even while he was getting it sewn up. So for him to be crying along with me means he’s just as scared as I am.

  My tears have slowed but I’m still not ready to let go of my brother just yet. I honestly didn’t realize how much I’ve missed him over these last eight months. We still have a long way to go in healing our relationship but this turn of events makes it look really silly. We need to talk and get everything out in the open. Hunter lifts his head from my shoulder but continues to run his hand runs up and down my back a few more times. I give him one last squeeze before I lower my arms and face what our reality is now.

  I glance around and find that it’s just the two of us standing in the hallway and I immediately miss the shield that Cooper provides me. I know he hasn’t gone far but I hate that he’s not standing beside me with open arms. I’ve always been the strong type, always independent, but now that I’ve got Cooper I like that I have someone to shelter me from whatever life throws my way. He’s my bulletproof shield protecting me from the world.

  “So, uh…” I fold my arms over my chest. “Do you know any of the details?”

  Hunter leans back up against the wall and takes a deep breath while rubbing the scruff on his face. “It’s lung cancer. I heard mom tell the doctors when we arrived in the emergency room. I don’t know any more than that. Once we were admitted and moved in the room,” Hunter nods towards mom’s room, “the uh…the doctor said he’d contact mom’s doctor, who happens to work here at the hospital, after mom told him about some tests she just recently had done.”

  “I can’t believe she didn’t tell us.” I say staring at a gash of wood missing from the railing along the wall. “I guess it makes sense now why she insisted that she didn’t need to go back to the doctor for that damn cough.”

  “Yeah, I guess so…” Hunter tilts his head towards the door. “I’m sure she’s awake if you want to go in.”

  I nod my head but I have another question before I go in. “What happened to her to make you bring her here?”

  Hunter scratches the back of his head. “CC and I were taking her home. We pulled up in front of the house and mom started having a coughing fit as soon as she got out of the car. She couldn’t even catch a breath and CC and I watched as she passed out right in front of our eyes.” He sighs. “She gave me a fucking heart attack. She was only out for a few seconds before she was alert again and looking around trying to figure out why she was lying in the snow.” He shakes his head. “She doesn’t remember even getting out of the car.”

  Damn it, I knew I should have taken her home, should have spent the rest of Christmas with her.

  Hunter taps his foot with mine and I glance up. “After the doctor walked out of the room, mom told me she was waiting until after Christmas and Mason and Hailey’s wedding on New Year’s Eve to tell us. You know how she is, she wouldn’t have wanted to put a damper on the holidays and their wedding.”

  I huff. “That’s just like her, always putting everyone else before herself.” The anger starts to set in. “Why would she hide this from us? None of that other shit is as important as her health.”

  I watch my brother’s huge shoulders shrug. “She’s scared.”

  “It’s not an excuse.” My body starts to tremble with the anger that is beginning to radiate through my body. I’m pissed that she didn’t tell us the second she found out, pissed that she was putting unimportant things before her health, and pissed that she didn’t allow me to be there for her.

  Hunter sighs. “You’re right, it’s not, but put yourself in her shoes, Jay. Wouldn’t you be scared? She knows she’s got a long battle ahead of herself, she was only looking out for us until after the holidays.” He turns his head and looks down the hallway. “Maybe she was just trying to give us one last holiday with happy memories.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek until the metallic taste of blood is all I can focus on. The last holiday? No, I refuse to believe that! Hunter can’t think like that either. She’s going to fight this just like she’s fought everything else that’s ever been thrown her way.

  Sadie McCormick is a fighter and she’s not going down without the fight—literally—of her life.

  Cooper

  I slip into Sadie’s room while Hunter and Jaylinn have a moment together. This devastating news, news that could very well take their mom from them far too young, has crushed them both. I’m praying with all the new medications, treatment protocols, and research out there that Sadie will have a fighting chance.

  She’s lying on the hospital bed, covered with blankets and her head is leaning against a pillow. Her eyes are red and bloodshot as the tears fall from them. Standing a few feet away from her bedside I can hear Hunter and Jaylinn crying in the hallway and I’m sure Sadie can too. Hearing that is killing me and I know it’s probably worse on Sadie. She only wanted to protect them from exactly this…this moment, these emotions, this pain.

  Taking the last few feet towards her I reach out for her hand. I hold it gently, like she’s fragile, but I should have known better. Sadie clamps on my hand, knuckles turning white, holding on like I’m her lifeline. “I didn’t want them to find out like this,” she cries harder.

  I sit on the edge of her bed and bring
her hand to my lap but she sits up and wraps her arms around me. At first I’m stunned because I’m not sure exactly what to do so I do the only thing I can, I hug her back. I know that Sadie thinks of me like a son but she catches me off guard, my own emotions waging war on my head and heart knowing that I need to be strong for her and for Hunter and Jay.

  Sadie cries while I sit there hugging her, comforting her. I tell her she’s a fighter, she’s brave and can get through anything. My heart is breaking for her. How can this strong, brave woman be going through something like this? She hasn’t had the best life, her piece of shit ex-husband ruined that for her, but she did have two amazing kids from him and two beautiful grandkids. She’s too young to be dealing with a possibility of not being here to celebrate every one life’s moments with her children and grandkids.

  Once she composes herself, she gives me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Cooper.” She fans her face. “I haven’t broken down like that until tonight.”

  “No reason to be sorry at all,” I give her a half smile. “Sometimes we just need to let it out.” And I’m so glad that she did, if she wouldn’t have been showing any kind of emotion then I would be worried, fearing that she knew more than what Hunter had overheard.

  Sadie pats my hand. “I’m so lucky my daughter has you in her life.” Her eyes mist over again. “She’s going to need you now more than ever.” And the tears overcome her again.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her truthfully. I hold her once again as she cries out every ounce of fear and worry that plagues her ailing body.

  I take a deep breath. I had no plans on doing this now, I wanted to wait until after all the holidays and Hailey and Mason’s wedding. I wanted to do it when it was our time to shine and not be overshadowed by other people’s happiness, but now with this news and my impending absence once baseball season starts back up, I don’t want to wait another second.

  “I actually wanted to talk to you about something. It might not be the best time or place but when will it ever be?” I smile at Sadie as I see a flash of my future seeing Jaylinn walking down the aisle in a wedding dress with her mom at her side. “I wanted to ask your permission to marry Jaylinn. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.” I huff, smiling bigger. “God knows I’ve got plenty of time to think while I’m on the road. I know I put up a fight against us being in a relationship for such a long time. Until just last year actually, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want to marry her.”