Let Me Love You (Love #4) Read online

  Her arms slowly reach up around my neck and I bring her body flush against mine. She lowers her right hand and places it on my chest, just over my heart, and rests her head on my shoulder.

  Our bodies sway back and forth as a hold her close. “I know this is Hailey and Mason’s song but the words are fitting and I need you to understand how I feel about you.” I kiss her cheek. “You’ve been there for me when my life felt out of control back in school. Classes and baseball were taking up all my time but you were always there. Half the time I never even acknowledged that you were there, but I knew. You never missed any of my games, not even in high school, unless you had one of your own. Even now when I told you I was thinking of quitting you didn’t push me to stay with baseball. You were trying to figure out a way for me to do both.” I take a long deep breath, needing a little courage to continue. “When shit went down I blamed myself, I still do, but for some reason you’ve stuck around.”

  Jaylinn lifts her head and begs me with her eyes to understand that it wasn’t my fault. “Cooper you aren’t to blame. You couldn’t have stopped what almost happened.”

  I bite on my bottom lip, feeling my shoulder sag. “If I didn’t bring you, you wouldn’t have had to worry about anything. I feel like you left BU because of me. You left your friends and teammates behind to transfer to Georgian Court.”

  Before I can keep going Jaylinn stops me by placing a finger to my lips. “I didn’t transfer because of you. I transferred because I wanted to. Nothing I wanted was in Boston anymore.” The last part comes out more of a whisper.

  A small part of me still feels like she’s fooling herself. If I could have stayed in Boston she would have continued to go to school there. The asshole that caused all of this shit was no longer an issue because he was kicked out of school for reasons that she doesn’t know, but her mind was already made up.

  I claim her warm sweet lips. They part and I slip my tongue inside, sending a shiver of desire racing through me.

  The rest of the night we spend dancing, drinking and talking. We seemed to have lost Eli after their little show on the dance floor and that’s fine by me. I’ll have to talk to that fucker tomorrow and set him straight, but for now I’m here with my girl.

  A few weeks ago, Mason and I went to jewelry store in the mall and I found the perfect ring for Jaylinn. It’s a blue diamond infinity ring, a symbol of my trust that I will always be there for her. She needs that from me. Plus, it was Mason’s constant rambling in my ear that persuaded me to buy her the ring.

  Jaylinn didn’t want her mom to spend Christmas morning alone so she slept at her house and is on her way over now. I woke up a few hours ago with doubt lingering over the gift that I had picked out, thinking she wasn’t going to like it.

  The alarm on the front door beeps, notifying me that she’s here.

  “Coop?” Jaylinn calls out.

  “In the kitchen.”

  She comes up the stairs and runs into my arms. “Merry Christmas, Baby.”

  I tighten my arms around her, “Merry Christmas Twinkle Toes.”

  She shakes her head at the nick name I had given her a few years ago. The things that girl could do with her feet still amazes me. She is a beast on the soccer field and I’m glad she was able to transfer teams so she can continue to play.

  “So can I open my gift?” she asks, bouncing up and down, barely able to control her excitement.

  “You’re like a little kid on Christmas morning.” I laugh at her enthusiasm and my stomach tightens at the thought of giving her the gift.

  Jaylinn pouts and I pull her back to me and kiss the pout from her lips. “No pouting.”

  “Then don’t make me wait.” Jaylinn quips back.

  I shake my head and walk over to the fridge. Reaching into the cabinet above it, I pull out the small wrapped gift.

  “Son of a bitch! That’s where you hid it?” Jaylinn shrieks.

  I look over my shoulder at her like she’s lost her damn mind. “Um, from your reaction, it’s a good thing I did hide it in there. I can’t believe you were snooping around.” I say with amusement. She really is like a big kid.

  Jaylinn rolls her eyes, “You mean to tell me you never went snooping around for your gifts?”

  I place the box on the counter next to where she is leaning. She eyes it skeptically before her hand starts to reach for it.

  “Don’t.” I say with a little more force then I wanted. I’m sweating and nervous. I never get nervous. I can be up to bat at the most important game of my life with the bases loaded and not feel anything like I do right now. I don’t want her to get the wrong impression and screw up what we have. I’ve got to explain it as she opens it.

  Jaylinn crosses arms and looks down to the floor.

  I curse under my breath, this isn’t going right.

  Knowing I need a different approach, I stand in front of Jaylinn reaching for her hands. As our fingers entwine, I take a moment, and then lift our hands to tilt her chin so she’s looking at me. “I’m sorry.”

  She nods her head and bites her bottom lip. I close my eyes, now she’s making me hard and it’s not the time for that. “I’m nervous.”

  Jaylinn’s eyes snap up to mine when I admit I’m nervous over this, “Why?”

  I shrug, not wanting to say.

  “Coop, whatever you give me is going to be perfect.” Jaylinn tries to reassure me with her words and the gentleness in which she delivers them.

  It works so I kiss her forehead and let go of her hands. Reaching over for the little box, I place it in her hand and then look up at her again. “When you open this I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. This is a gift that represents us. It’s our symbol.”

  A sly smile breaks across her face and I’m not sure she even heard what I said. “Ok, can I open it now?”

  I nod and she doesn’t waste a second tearing open the wrapping paper. She sees the words of the jewelry store on top of the box and her attention zones back to me. I smile as my stomach rolls; I wipe my hands down my jeans.

  Jaylinn flips the lid of the box open and her hand starts to shake. “Coop…”

  She hates it. She fucking hates it. I just know it.

  I put my hands in my pockets so that I don’t grab it out of her hands and throw it in the trash. This was a stupid idea. Damn Mason.

  “It’s perfect.” She reaches into the box and pulls the ring out. Jaylinn places it on her ring finger on her right hand and lifts it up to examine it. “It’s so sparkly.”

  “Just like your eyes.” I say aloud, more to myself then to her.

  Jaylinn stands up on her tip toes and kisses me. It’s a gentle kiss but it’s full of emotion, want and need. I kiss her back, matching everything she’s giving me.

  “I didn’t think a promise ring would work for us so I got you this instead. Just remember that I’ll always be there for you no matter what. It’s infinity.” I explain.

  “I…” she closes her eyes and starts again, “I love you, Cooper Cahill.”

  My heart stops, literally. She’s never said those words to me and I’m not sure how to take them. Yeah we’ve said them kidding around but never in a serious conversation like this one. Can she really love me?

  “Coop?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I mean it. I love you.”

  I look into her eyes and I know her words are true. Jaylinn McCormick loves me. It scares the hell out of me but in this moment I couldn’t give two shits about all my hang ups about us.

  A smirk breaks out across my face, “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah,”

  “Good, because I wasn’t really giving you a choice.” I slap her ass and she giggles. I haven’t said it back because it’s not the right time for me, but before we leave the house this morning I will say the words.

  “So can I give you my present now?” Jaylinn jumps around again.

  I roll my eyes, acting annoyed but secretly loving how playful she is. “I guess.”

&nb
sp; Jaylinn drags me behind her into the garage. She moves a few boxes out of her way and then pushes a blanket off of a box hidden in the corner.

  “So that’s where you hid it.” I say, mimicking her.

  “Haha,” She says sarcastically. Jaylinn grabs the box and turns around to give it to me. “I hope you like. You’re a pain in the ass to buy for because you have everything already.”

  I tuck the box under my arm and help her around the boxes. “I’m sure it’s great and I already told you I didn’t need anything.”

  We go back into the kitchen and I put the package down on the table. I pull the bow and then unwrap it as she watches over my shoulder. When I open the box I’m lost for words. She bought me a new helmet for my bike. I pull it out so I can get a better view of it. It’s a custom painted helmet with flaming baseballs on each side and my jersey number five on the top.

  “Well?” She pressed, and I put the helmet down, pulling her in front of me. “If you don’t like it we can get you something else.”

  “Hell no, I don’t want something else. It’s perfect, thank you.” I hold her tight to me.

  Jaylinn sighs in relief, “Merry Christmas.”

  I reach down and tip her chin up to look at me, her blue eyes burning into my soul. “I love you, Jay.”

  A huge goofy grin spreads across her beautiful, perfect face. “Best. Gift. Ever.”

  I cook Jaylinn and I breakfast before we head over to MacKenzie and Hunter’s for Christmas dinner. After breakfast Jaylinn runs upstairs to freshen up while I finish wrapping my parent’s gift. I get the last flap taped down when Jaylinn slips her arms around my waist.

  “All ready to go.”

  I spin around and wrap my arms around her. “Alright, let me get these gifts and we’ll head out.” She kisses me before turning and putting her jacket on. I grab mine off the chair next to me and slide it on. I pile all the gifts in my arms and realize I can’t lock up.

  “Hey, can you reach in my pocket for the keys to lock up?”

  “Sure.”

  Jaylinn retrieves the keys. We walk out to the truck but I sense that something with Jaylinn has suddenly changed. Maybe she’s having second thoughts about the gift that I gave her since she keeps looking at it. Jaylinn reaches around me to open the front door. I step out and wait for her to lock up. It’s freezing and a fresh blanket of snow has fallen overnight.

  I walk over to the truck and set the gifts on my snow covered hood and pick Jaylinn off the ground. Her arms and legs wrap around my body. “What’s wrong, Twinkle Toes?”

  She looks past me towards the street, “Can I sleep here tonight?”

  I wonder why she’s asking; I always want her here and I thought I’d made that pretty clear. “Of course you can. You can stay here whenever you want.” I gently place a kiss on her lips.

  “You really do love me, huh?”

  I shrug, “I guess so, or maybe I just want someone around to keep the monsters away at night.”

  Jaylinn shoves my shoulder, “You know, for being the badass Cooper Cahill, you’re kind of a geek.”

  I chuckle, “But you love me anyway.”

  She sighs, “But I love you anyway.”

  We’re at my brother’s and the family is all gathered around in the living room in front of the fire place. We just finished with dinner and all exchanged gifts.

  Everyone decided on buying something for the twins instead of buying for Hailey and Mason. They loved the idea of that. Plus a little part of me knows that neither one really knows what to buy anyway.

  Cooper and I were given a weekend away in the mountains from everybody. This is a perfect gift and Cooper promised to find time to fit it in before pre-season starts up. When we first opened the envelope, Cooper looked a little uncomfortable but I think it’s because he knows everyone treats us like a couple even though we aren’t. I couldn’t help but squeal like a little girl when I saw what it was.

  Jackson, Chloe and Alex got a trip to Disney World. Alex is running around the house calling out for Mickey Mouse every five minutes. It’s too cute.

  Cooper’s mom and my mom were each given a day at the spa and Cooper’s dad got a round of golf at his favorite course.

  And last but not least, Hunter, Ryder and MacKenzie were also given a trip to Disney World as well. Hunter and Jackson are already planning the trip for later this summer. Both Ryder and Alex are going to have a blast and I can’t wait to see the million pictures of them capturing precious memories.

  Hunter takes a seat next to MacKenzie on the couch.

  “You ok?” Hunter asks as she tries to get comfortable.

  “Yeah, Princess here is just causing me some little back contractions.” Hunter starts to rub his hands up and down her back, trying to comfort her.

  MacKenzie has been complaining about back pains a lot this past week. She isn’t due for another three weeks but I have a sneaky suspicion that she’s going to have the baby early. My big brother is such a good dad and a great role model too.

  MacKenzie stands and paces the room.

  I’ve been leaning up against the wall watching my best friend. When she walks past me I ask, “You ok?”

  MacKenzie winces, “Yeah, sitting was becoming unbearable.”

  “Baby girl,” Andrew, Cooper’s dad says as he walks back in the room from the kitchen. “Everything ok?”

  “Everything is great.” MacKenzie answers and I can tell she is trying to keep her voice even. “I’m about to head upstairs to try and lay down flat for a few minutes.”

  “Ok.” Andrew and I both say in unison.

  MacKenzie makes it a few steps away when I look over to Andrew and he cocks an eyebrow and nods his head in his daughter’s direction.

  I nod back my understanding. I follow MacKenzie just to make sure she’s ok.

  MacKenzie makes it about three steps up and suddenly she stops mid-step. I hear her yelp and then she quickly looks down to the puddle at her feet.

  “Hunter!” MacKenzie and I yell at the same time. I don’t have a fucking clue what that is but it can’t be good.

  Thankfully, my brother is there in a flash. “Oh shit.”

  Mason comes up behind Hunter and curses under his breath. “Is that what’s going to happen to Hailey?” he asks with horror on his face.

  “Mason, if you don’t shut up I’m going to make you come into the delivery room with me and I promise you, you don’t want that.” MacKenzie says through gritted teeth.

  Mason blanches and walks away, clearly not wanting that at all.

  In the next few minutes everything happens so fast. Hunter has called the doctor and they are on their way out of the door to the hospital.

  MacKenzie yells over my shoulder to everyone, “Merry Christmas, I love you!”

  Everyone yells back, “Merry Christmas.”

  “I’ll call as soon as we know something.” Hunter says as he shuts the door and follows after his wife.

  I go back into the living room and plop down next to Cooper. “I know what’s about to happen is a miracle, but damn that was gross.” Cooper says with a grimace and a shiver.

  I giggle, “It’s beautiful. You’re about to become an uncle again.”

  Cooper looks a little in awe, “Yeah I am.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer.

  “Let’s go help get everything cleaned up and put the house somewhat back together.”

  The next hour, all of us except Hailey, who’s napping in the recliner, are bustling around cleaning up so that when they get released from the hospital they don’t have to worry about it.

  “So are you and Cooper keeping Ryder?” My mom asks me.

  I wrap my arms around my mom, “Yup, I told Hunter that Cooper and I would stay here when MacKenzie was set to deliver.” I giggle. “Cooper is more excited about that than anything.”

  Mom sighs, “I’m happy that you’re so close, Jay. For a while I thought you and Cooper were going to dance around your feelings forever.
”

  Her words take me by surprise. Did everyone else know that Cooper and I had feelings for each other for the longest time and no one said anything to us about it?

  “Mom,” I hug her a little tighter. “You realize that Cooper and I are just friends right? Yeah, we have feelings for each other but nothing will come of it.”

  Saying those words out loud hurt deeply but I need her to understand just like I need to understand myself.

  Someone clears their throat behind us. We both turn and see Cooper standing in the doorway of the kitchen with his arms crossed.

  “Since we’re staying here I’m going to go run back to the house and grab a few things. Do you need or want me to stop by your house and grab anything?”

  I purse my lips together. From the tone of his voice I know he’s overheard our conversation but I wasn’t going to lie to my mom. It’s Cooper’s fault that we aren’t together anyway and he has no right to be angry about what he just overheard.

  “Nope,” I stand there with my head held high.

  Cooper reaches up and scratches the back of his head. “Alright then, I’ll be back shortly.”

  I nod once and turn my attention back to my mom.

  Mom has this knowing look on her face. “That was a little intense.”

  I huff, “You can say that again.”

  She grabs my hand and leads me towards to the coffee pot. “Why don’t we grab some coffee and sit and talk?”

  We take a seat in the playroom with Ryder while Mason, Hailey, Elle and Andrew are watching A Christmas Story. I give her a clear rundown of what’s been going on with Cooper and me. I explain that, yes, we do having feelings for each other but he doesn’t seem to want to take the next step with me. I think I have a pretty good idea why but I can’t tell my mom that. I can’t explain to her what I went through and how I feel like that’s the thing holding Cooper back. That’s something in my past and I’m leaving it there, at least for now.

  “So have you and Cooper slept together?” Mom asks me. It shocks me a bit that she just came out and asked me that, but we have a very open relationship so I answer honestly.

  “No we haven’t but it’s not for my lack of trying.” My cheeks flush that I’ve mentioned that last part to my mom but I’m twenty she can’t expect me to be a virgin my whole life.